I know sharing unfortunate events will indirectly show my weaknesses but i just need to let it out, here. I hope you guys would not mind.
Yesterday morning after the unexpected ditching drama in class, i received another news which was everything else but happiness. It was from the Yayasan. The lady on the other line informed me, I wasn't offered the Yayasan TAR Scholarship.. yea..my name was not in the list of those lucky people.
Yesterday morning after the unexpected ditching drama in class, i received another news which was everything else but happiness. It was from the Yayasan. The lady on the other line informed me, I wasn't offered the Yayasan TAR Scholarship.. yea..my name was not in the list of those lucky people.
................
For those who had just started following my blog, i'm sharing the news with you now
- Last year June, i sent an application to further my masters studies abroad, majoring in Masters in Commerce and Management. I chose Lincoln's University, New Zealand
- Excruciating moments of dividing time to prepare for my proposal : Job Satisfaction And Motivation: A Study of Employees in The Banking Industry of Sarawak, Malaysia
- Excruciating moments waiting for them to approve
- Excruciating moments of getting letters of recommendation from my lecturers who were across the South China Sea.
- Like crazy i sent the scholarship application without my offer letter 31st July,left my students to be attended by another teacher, and drove off from Sri Aman to Kuching with Cinta's driving like F1. Exactly 5pm, my application reached the Yayasan door. Drove back Sri Aman.
- My proposal was approved. I was offered in.. happy
- Sent in a copy to Yayasan.
- Endless time studying for my IELTS (mid oct)
- Scored 7/9. i was overjoyed. Min requirement was 6.
Called for Yayasan Interview by end of October..- Interrogation began..
- Result, yesterday.
- Sorrow..
sampai aku takde perasaan ok..9 bulan aku habiskan masa untuk uruskan benda ni saja..i was suppose to fly this saturday to Christchurh, NZ for orientation week..tapi apa aku dpt? takde..kosong..kosong ok.
Sedih aku..aku usaha mcm org gila nak dptkan tempat di Uni, nak lepas exam yang maha susah itu and nak lepas proposal..Bila semua aku dah dpt, duit pula yang tak mengizinkan.. My god, i could not find the right words, betapa aku sangat sangat kecewa.........sangat kecewa i cant even cry..in fact, i may have forgotten how to cry..
Tapi mungkin, Tuhan belum izinkan, takpelah.. aku redha..
InsyaAllah, ada hikmahnya..
Sedih aku..aku usaha mcm org gila nak dptkan tempat di Uni, nak lepas exam yang maha susah itu and nak lepas proposal..Bila semua aku dah dpt, duit pula yang tak mengizinkan.. My god, i could not find the right words, betapa aku sangat sangat kecewa.........sangat kecewa i cant even cry..in fact, i may have forgotten how to cry..
Tapi mungkin, Tuhan belum izinkan, takpelah.. aku redha..
InsyaAllah, ada hikmahnya..
note: i paid RM500 fees to sit for the goddamn exam.
35 comments:
it's ok, darling. look at the bright side. now u dont have to leave ur family & Cinta behind. u did tell me how unsure u were, whether it's what u really wanted & although it's hard to swallow, God had given u the answer. but just remember, when one door closes, another window opens (or the other way around. lupak indah. hehe..)
ada la hikmah d sebaliknya dearie..at least u have given ur best and if dats meant to be, redha jak k..
bak kata nieza, ada rezeki lain nggu..
chill k :)
sikpa proposal bleh buat agi, durian runtuh ko lom sampe masanya bah.. master sikkan lari..
n i e z a:
yes dear, thanks very much. i am very much looking at the bright side now..sik guna ku nak ngenang gik, plus aku salu pikir positif jak these days, apa2 yang berlaku, Tuhan dah sediakan perancangan yang lebeh baik untuk aku, insyaAllah
f.i.e.z.a:
aok, benar ya fieza. maksih k..2 days before nang kmk sedih gilak..i think im allowed to be sad sebab mun kmk gembira, ada something wronglah dgn kmk tok kali..insyaAllah ada rezeki lain..
arter:
proposal ku dah ada, duit jak sikda..mungkin ku polah locally jak lah..
have faith in yourself ok..God has instill something far better for you in the future..be happy ahmoi!
Anonymous:
Thank you for the support Anon, if i may shorten your name like that..
:)
Maknanya ada hikmah yang akan berlaku pada kemudian hari...
xpa bah..ne tauk da offer lain kelak yg lebih bagus dr yayasan. iboh sedih gilak k.
Anuar:
Ya, saya redha..memang Tuhan sayangkan saya..:))
::suenas05::
yalah, aku appeal kelak, mun sik aku apply scholarship lain..
sik al felicia.. adalah hikmahnya.. ney taok ada rejeki lebih besar nunggu ktk.. :)
0ngg0n:
aok, benar kata ktk ya onggon, kmk cumma bersedih jak ariya..nek tok dah ok..maksih!
Lynn, Lincoln got scholarships also...
1. Vernon Willey Trust Fellowship
Available for overseas researchers working in NZ.
Fellowship may be used for PhD studies but other secondary projects and special activities will be considered.
Priority will be given to a link between research and education.
Application Close Date: 15 March
2.Lincoln University Foundation
Funding to undertake specific projects that will benefit Agriculture in New Zealand.
Application Close Date: 31 March
3.A C Rayner Memorial Scholarship
Relevance of planned research to economics or economic policy in New Zealand.
Full time and part time students are eligible to apply.
The Scholarship will be awarded based on academic merit, and;
Application Close Date: 31 March
4.Venture Out Lincoln Award
All students and staff are eligible.
Application Close Date: 30 May
5.Cadabra NZ Travel Writing Scholarship
Application Close Date: 30 June
6. NZ Postgraduate Study Abroad Awards
Academic Merit
Strength of proposed research
Potential benefit to the student's proposed research programme.
Full time student.
For study or research overseas
Application Close Date: 1 November
7.Lincoln University Graduate Scholarships
Application Close Date: 1 November
8.AERU Masterate Scholarship
The selection criteria is academic merit.
The scholarship covers tuition fees plus a $6,000 emolument.
Valid only for thesis year of the Masters degree
Valid for research conduted in association with AERU
Application Close Date: 1 December
9.Lincoln University International Accommodation Scholarship
Application Close Date: 1 January
10.Reserve Bank of New Zealand University Scholarships
For study in Economics, finance or banking studies.
International students are eligible provided they are legally allowed to work in New Zealand.
Application Close Date: 16 January
Forms are available at the lincoln uni website. Hope this helps.
Aiee...mek pun baruk nak apply ko. Hehe. Tapi sik tauk ngan scholarship...mek nangga rah Yayasan ya tek macam mok ada berik geran rumah indah... Any tips? Hehe.
O...I'm sooo sorry... Baruk jak abis baca post kitak tek...sekpa, sekpa...mesti ada hikmah. Try apply for personal loan ka...apa ka...maybe sponsor dari company ka (if you're with a company now la)... Since I'm looking for sponsorship too, then mun ada apa2 I'll let you know too. How about that? Cheer up!
Hahahahahaaaa..... Sian nangga ehh.... Kmk sik apat meijin muka ktk sius time ya ngn cinta lam keta... Mok kedak org nak beranak mecut keta ya.... Next time will be yours my dear... Mbak keta len kali boh laju gilak.... Jgn smp nyawa tergadai sik guna juak kelak....
Felicia, i understand your frustration and i know it can get irritating if i were to say "theres always a blessing in disguise". but deng, uve gotta believe in that. ne tauk, for phd, u can pursue it abroad..
just be patient, because great things come to those who wait.
Lois Lane:
Thanks for the information. I was already made aware of this beforehand but if im not mistaken, one of the requirement to apply is my willingness to work in NZ after graduation of which i do not intend to. Still, i'll check it out again..I may want to apply for Khazanah..Tq again.
Zatil:
Ktk nak apply study kah? locally kah abroad? mun locally senang kit nak dpt.kmk ariya kenak interrogate hbs hbsan masa interview. if u'd like to know the details, lak kita ber exchange ym, boleh jak..
Personal loan? kmk udah amik ptptn masa degree marek, i do not wish to loan anymore..sikpalah, kmk either appeal or look for some other scholarhip..thanks for the support
AmirFX: imejin jak ktk..nang lelah 31 july ya..pergi sik mkn tghri, terus ke sinun ...kul 6 bok makan..tdah.. nasib cinta expert mbak keta, tedah nya lelah..pulang sri aman alu kmk mbak, nya tido..
Myra:
Segala apa yangktk padah ya nang benar deng..apa2 pun nang pulang ke 'ada hikmahnya'..i may not know it, i may not see it now but in time, i will..yes, i shall wait..
im looking at the bright side..kmk masih ada ctok..brightside for others as well, is it not? hehe
thankssss darling!
Dim.. jangan sedih k. Ada hikmah tu.. Insya'Allah, mana tau dapat yg lebih baik? Kite tak tau kuasa Allah. I know u Dim, walaupun tak rapat tapi Zaza tau Dim macam mana. Macam mana Dim kat class, macam mana Dim buat keje and all. YOU DESERVE MORE THAN THAT okay. Insya'Allah...kite doa sama2.
Dont be sad, plz. Love u so much!
Zaza:
Luff you too Za..betul2 bagi semangat kat Dim, sapa lagi yang sekelas dgn Dim dulu kalau bukan Zaza kan..yelah Za, mugkin belum rezeki dim..it's only natural dim psti merasa sedih selepas all the hard work i've gone thru to make it happen but end with a sad result. insyaAllah, Dim terima apa2 Tuhan sediakan untuk Dim..
Thanks again Za..! muah!
It's okay darling..yerrRr darling juak ku tek ekeke. Anyway, bukan rezeki kitak ba. Setiap kejadian pasti ada hikmahnya. Actually kita tok masing2 ada rezekinya.. cuma belom tibanya lagik tuhan nak tunjukkan rezeki kitak. So bersabar jak kay? just cheer up! :)
aihh heyy..terkezut saya membaca entry ini. sorry few days sakit..alu sekdo mud online giteww ehehe..
hmm..ada hikmah di sebalik semua tok, and He knows what good n not for u at this time. think the positive side of what had happened to u. im sure ur rezeki will be there tomorrow... gagal ritok sik bermakna esok gagal tol sik? ia menjadi satu turning point untuk berusaha lebih..all the best ya...
begitulah hendaknya..~
Audio:
hahaha aoklah lak mek darling juak dgn kitak..oh ada kenak baok pastok..
Yalah audio, belum rezeki, atau bukannya belum rezeki, tapi actually dah ada cuma nunggu masa Tuhan nak berik..sikpalah, mungkin polah secara local jak..:)
thanks laling..aiseh..uwopss..hahaha..
nikzz:
masih sakit kah? tedah, makanlah ubat..nek tok kat sri aman nang panas jak2 tiap ari. cnun gney?
yea, nasib ada Cinta merik semangat..Cinta tek sedih juak kmk sik dpt tapi sama2 lah kita nangga dari sudut positif nya nak? yerr tauk ada masuk cerita cinta..te he he..i wish for all the best of luck untuk kmk, dan untuk ktk ok..
begitulah seadanya
alu kuar cinta Cinta yerdeh..ececehh haha... bgsla nya da merik semangat ngan ktk bah. tq for the wish..goes back to both of u hehhe.. flu kmk dah ok..cuma batok ckit2..dah selesai 5hari menentang kuman flu..kuman batok gik blegar2 dlm bdn tok! hhhehehe~
nikzz:
hehehe sikdalah keluar, bertalipon jak..jadilah nak, nengar suara dah cukup sebagai daya tarikan magnet..:)
batok? jgn amalkan makan lozenges k, nya menghakis tekak..minum jak aek mati..get well soon!
Lynn, since u wanted to do Commerce and Management, have u surveyed whether there are banks that give out scholarships?
just remember..mesti ada hikmah nnt kn.. who knows ada greater thing waiting for u.. who knows kan...
Lois Lane:
I have, some in my list but no actions taken yet..from my part that is. Lelah ku membaca all the syarat2..haih.
Noreen Ruszailin:
yes, true..insyaAllah harapnya ada greater things ahead of me kan...thanks Noreen!
Xpa dude..maybe ada hikmah di sebaliknya..aku sedih juak kau xpat,since i knw how hard u worked for it..but then again..look at the bright side,kau sik perlu jauh2 ngan cinta n dpt cari keja terus..have faith..;)
Anne:
Maksih dude..i appreciate it a lot. yes, u are among our small group of friends who really know the times i went thru for all these. Thanks for being there for me..menumpangkan aku rumah for me to go interview, menumpangkan aku kat rumah for me to attend my exam..menemankan aku gi interview for 3-4 hours, sampey lapar ko dgn Mus nunggu kat luar..yorobi, mun aku ngenang balit, tersentap jantong aku..thanks dude, luff you down to bits!
baruk jak nak suk nengar ktk berjaya tek.. n den result yg ending ya.. adoh eh.. faham mek gne asanya bla benda yg kta harap tok xdpt2.. jgn putus asa.. coba dan terus mencoba.. insyaAllah berjaya.. jgn lupak doa ngan tuhan juak :)
setiap kejadian ada hikmahNya.. ne tauk dlm masa 2 3 bln akn datang.. tba2 jak datang offer.. sapa tauk nak? hehe :)
a0ne:
kmk pun berharap kmk berjaya tek koh..tapi dah sikda rezeki, sik dpt kmk nak polah apa2. tapi sikpa, awal2 nang sedih, sikkan kmk bergelak ketawa nak..now kmk dah ok, kmk yakin n cayak kmk ada rezeki yang lebih bagus gik pastok..
maksih aone merik kata2 semangat ya..
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