Suara Sekeping Hati

Aku nak kongsi sedikit berkenaan satu isu ni. Senario yang sering kita lihat, dengar dan adakalanya kita sendiri alami.. Pernah tak rakan/geng bagitau kat korang macam ni 'senang jak keja kau ya, pejam mata leh siap' atau 'la, bagila kat budak junior-junior tu, kita rehat..' hmmm pedas kan?

Setiap tugasan ada matlamatnya tersendiri. Orang atasan takkan bagi tugasan kalau mereka tak ada kepercayaan terhadap kita betul tak? .. ada certain orang, terror bab design, maka tanggungjawab dia adalah untuk mendesign sesuatu yang cantik dan diterima ramai.. begitu juga orang yang hebat di bidang komputer.. membuat short film, website or whatever, itu kepandaian yang dia miliki. Long story short, sebuah badan hanya akan lengkap apabila setiap anggotanya hadir. Dalam erti kata lain, biar kecil mana pun bahagian engkau, it still plays an important role towards the constitution.

Tapi bagi sesetengah orang, salu anggap diri dia best. Selalu anggap tugasan yang dipikulnya itu, jauh lebih berat daripada orang lain.. apa lagi kalau jawatan/status dia lebih tinggi, mula lah dia merasakan orang lain tak buat kerja seteruk dia.. Lepas tu pulak, bila diberikan tugasan, dia akan merungut 'kenapa tak beri pada orang lain? derang tu bukannya buat keja pun'..

Kat sini aku nak tanya:
Dari mana dia tau orang lain tak buat keja? dia siasat ke? dia tengok ke dengan mata kepala sendiri? dia ada ke buat keja sampai tak tido malam bersekang mata? dia ada ke tengok orang lain berhempas pulas nak bagi satu keja tu perfect [waima tugasan itu mungkin hanya menjaga kebersihan] ? dia ada menahan lapar/dahaga demi mahukan hasil kerja yang berkualiti? ADA KE? Kalau ada sekalipun, kenapa ko kutuk keja orang lain? Ko tak bley jaga tepi kain ko sendiri ke?

Padanlah sesebuah institusi payah nak maju. kenapa? dengan kehadiran orang macam ni lah.. kenapa tak boleh nak bekerjasama? kenapa terlalu mudah menjustifikasikan tugasan orang lain dengan alasan yang tidak munasabah? Dengan mengatakan dia adalah orang yang lebih penting maka dia mesti diberi keutamaan dan orang lain hanyalah kuli batak?

Sesetengah orang memang tak menghiraukan perasaan orang lain apabila berkata-kata kan.. mohon maaf, aku agak ingga hari ini..sekadar berkongsi kecalaran hati.

Gney Gaya Aku Tok?

*sorry guys, entry kali ini bahasa bercampur aduk.


I just had a call today. My supposedly 15th June interview has been brought forward to the 20th of this month..and that 2oth is bila? Dat 20th is supernova gila ESOK! Gila aku. Mereng. Esok?? aduhhhhh... apa apa pun tak ready ni.. ye laaaaaa, mana tak nya..interview aku di awalkan sebulan! bukan seminggu dua ok..tapi sebulan.. SEBULAN SEMATAHARI!..

Aduh... gney tok ho.. leput aku.. dah la esok aku berucap juak time perhimpunan.. dak Shell mok call aku pukul 8 pagi gik ya..diulang, 8 pagi! cney san aku nak escape? Gila eh! meroyan aku pastok...arghhh.. ney ku nak prepare k berucap esok, ney ku nak ready k aku interview.. bukan-bukan tarikh ya di awalkan. esok terus.. kenak sik malam tok jak tek? yahhhhh.. benar juak.. Aku jak mikir diawalkan ke 10 june ka, 8 june ka, sik la aku terkejut ninek gilak.. tok sik, terus pagi esok! ney pat aku nak mintak cuti gik dah..sik sempat.. dah la call aku time aku tengah bertukang keletung keletang ngias kelas ngan miak palak krek lam kelas ku kul 4 petang tek.. aaaaaa ngerepak aku kali tok...

Aie, tolong aku aie..jantung aku dah gugok tergoleng rah pasar tek..sik sempat ku nak ngutip.. tandah jak eh.. tido lok ku.. aaa sikpat tido...! ney pusak ku tek, tok ku nukuk palak nya..dush dush..




p/s: it's a Shell interview via phone for a duration of 1 HOUR.. san san...

Fragility At Its Best

Yesterday's news;

"You've been shortlisted for Yayasan Scholarship interview. Please make your way to the 10th floor Wisma Satok coming Monday the 3rd."

Gulp.

Is it good? Seriously, i dont know. Is this one heaven of a good news or simply one hell of another disaster for me..two good news in a week, it simply doesn't add up. Or does it? I mean, this is what i've been waiting for since forever rite? Means i should be happy, rite? Im given the chance, major chance thus it has got to be a good thing rite.. ? rite?

Yet, im not happy. Im not excited. Im not even thrilled. All i said was..'oh, ok..' Am i feeling true? However, despite all these nutty crazy blended feelings, i still make my time to study and prepare for the upcoming interview. I remember telling Anne 'i might wanna screw this interview'.. i still might.

Im so not in my stable state. It's not just because of this, but few other personal matters of which i cant really share..is my cinta in it? i guess so...i dont know, not telling.

Whatever it is, i may not update till Monday since i'll be leaving for Kuching either tomorrow evening or Saturday morning. Unless i have something new to share, consider Point Blank is off for a bit until she gains back her self-righteous and finds herself back on track aight.

Do wish me luck people.. I'd be glad receiving words of encouragement, ok..thanks.

Time to take action

Few posts back, i wrote about my salary being cut off, not receiving bonus yada yada kan ... Now, read this post pulak.

Tak cukup lagi they [admin] torture us. Skrg, they haven't paid our salary. Did u know i went through Raya without sharing my bits for the house? Percaya tak if i say derang tak berhati perut, didnt pay our gaji sedangkan semua orang lain sudah terima on the 23rd? Dan skrg dah berapa haribulan? 5hb kan? Yes, 5th OCTOBER and pathetically belum bergaji!!.

I recalled one of the pekerja kat admin office said to me "Ktk keja, sik boh gilak bergaji, mintak jak duit mak bapak sia" -- [Palak ko berlubang]. Alrite alrite, in translation it means "Just work, you dont need to be paid, ask money from your parents lah" -- [Palak ko berlubang] <-- this one remains. U thought i'd keep quiet? Hell no. He's an elderly man, supposedly know much better, but if he was wise enough, he would not have uttered such stoopid disfunctional words. Screw that. Sarcastically i replied to his face " apalah guna kmk kerja mun sik di bayar gaji? Coba ktk rasa gak, sikboh lamak, sebulan sik terimak gaji, apa rasa ktk? Bok kmk maok dengar ktk akan madah 'sik boh bergaji gilak' atau sik .. it's my rights we're talking about here!". ["what's the point of working if im not gonna get paid? Why not u give it a try , not getting your salary, no, doesnt have to be long, a month is sufficient, i'd like to hear you say 'no need to be paid' or not!"]

He shuts his fat ass mouth and said nothing more.

I'm sick and tired being treated this way. So, tomorrow im going to meet a personnel from Persatuan Guru to make a complain. Stop me if you dare. If he wont help me, i'll go higher, and if that too does not work; Hishamudin, expect my letter to you. Jangan main2 sama i. It's good enough aku dah nak follow protocol, otherwise i would have just sent the letter straight to Pengarah Pendidikan!

I'm so seeking other jobs. Keep in mind, however angry i am with the new policy, I wont make my students become the victims by not teaching them, no i wont do that..but i guarantee u this, i will not want to have anything to do with school's side activities anymore. If i have to, just expect my name only lah, presence wise, jgn harap. Unless ko bayar untuk over time aku.

My day of the month is coming up, so understand why aku emo semacam.

Not Quite My Day

"Guru Ganti tidak boleh dianggap sebagai pegawai sambilan atau mana-mana status lantikan dalam perkhidmatan awam. Guru Ganti tidak layak menikmati semua elaun dan kemudahan lain seperti EPW, BIW, ITP Bayaran Sara Hidup termasuk kemudahan cuti yang layak dinikmati oleh pegawai tetap." -- received today.

Alrite i get it. I'm just a relief teacher. But hear me, i work equal hours (perhaps more), equal days, equal work (i believe i'm doing so much more) with the rest of the teachers. Tell me if this is fair?? Kenapa status itu dijadikan alasan untuk memotong gaji kami? If that is so, we deserve lesser work, lesser burden..because we are paid less. am i right, or am i right?

I teach and work as hard as others, thus why take away my motivation? Fine, it may sound harsh not to mention rude, as though im working blindly for the money but aren't everyone? Why do i work if i wont get paid?? Starting this month, Rm300++ shall be slashed from my pay. That is only a partial. If i dont work full month, say goodbye as well. Can it go any worse than that?

I hate people messing with my life. I fight for my rights even if it means making them hate me. You think i'd care? I have bills to pay okay. I dont just spend my money over damn fucking everyone. Unless you are willing to pay for my bills, i wont stop ranting. Sakit hati ok. Because i know im a good employee and i do my job dutifully. I almost cried a tear, who wont? Bonus pun tak layak..so what's left of my motivation?

Seriously, i've lost interest going to work. My alacrity, gone. Keja kuat2, bayar not equal to my sweat, my tiredness, my hardwork.... what's the point. I tore the paper away. Sucks.

Tell me beloved friends, beloved readers, what should i do?
What would u do if you were in my shoes?
Please, advise me.

Emo

Hari ini aku emo..the hormones are having war inside me..
Trying to be wise, trying to be stubborn, simultaneously..
Monthly problem each time the great wall collapses

Kenapa aku emo? ni la aku nak cerita

Aku nak jumpa Cinta, tapi ada client.
Fook.
So okla, aku ajak jumpa malam karang.
Kena pergi jumpa uncle pulak.
Double fook.
Besok dah Jumaat, meaning time untuk
cinta balik Kuching
HAH!! tang ni, hangin dah satu badan akuuu...!!
Nama je duduk dekat2, tapiiiiiiiiii...
nak jumpa banyak punya susah!
Jumpa tuai rumah panjai tak pulak susah mcm ni...!
Huh! make my blood go upstair laaaa...!

Siang tak boleh,
malam tak boleh,
hujung minggu tak boleh,
habis tu bila nya boleh jumpa??

Baik tak payah jumpa terus, lagi senang
buat aku emo je time-time memang tgh emo ni..
minggu ni baru sekali aku dpt jumpa Cinta, ok!
itupun 1 jam sajaaaaaa..eeeeee...!!

Sekarang semut pulak dok tutu, dok ratah
laptop aku nih...hey semut! apa ko ingat ni kedai
gula gula cap hacks ka?? Aku goreng kamu kamu
semua ni kang ha, baru tau!

Such a cry-baby aren't i?
not to mention pathetic..silly confused hormones
dont know which way to flowwww!

i can't help myself, i can't control those damn
sesat jalan hormones tak tau membalance kan
diri sendiri sehingga aku menjadi mangsa keadaann..
sob sob, tengok, keadaan pun aku dah dont noe
how to speel...see..wrong again..mampos pi tak layan..
malas nak tekan bakspace..jimat tenaga..plus
klau aku tekan backspace, lagi aku emo kang...

skrg aku nak gi menelan..
lapar ..

Hujan di tgh hari!

Very moody today. No idea why..
Yang pasti, aku rasa nak marah kat semua orang.
Nothing was done right..
Semua serba-serbi salah.
Ee, rasa nak maki..tapi tak tau nak maki kat sapa..

Itu salah, ini salah..
jumpa salah, tak jumpa salah
buat salah, tak buat salah..
mulut ckp lain, tak serupa bikin.
Habis tu apa yang betul?????

isk, sabar..diduga betul kesabaran aku hari ni..
ARGHHH! persetankan!

yang aku tau, hari ni berbuka 6.38pm..
HAH, cepat lah jam! sebelum aku remuk-redamkan

hari ni menu aku

* makan hati !

12 years??

He should get 200 years for all that matter! This animal, pictured below is already serving 11 years of jail term, gets another 12 for raping a 10 year old girl.

He can afford to smile for the press!! Sangat keji.

According to the facts of the case, Jasli raped the 10-year-old girl while she was sleeping on the floor of his room.

At the time of the rape, Jasli’s wife was sleeping on the bed in the same room!!

Frightened, the 10-year-old girl did not put up a fight but went back to sleep after the incident.

She only complained about the incident after she returned to her home in another town later that evening.

~*****~

Now read below..believe you me, i felt like stroking this defence counsel with a big blunt hammer right into his ass, smashing it right in and through his throat. Try having your daughter raped, see if you'll ask the court to consider giving him a lighter punishment!

In mitigation, defence counsel S. Sundarajan appealed to the court to sentence Jasli only on the first charge and take into consideration the other two charges.

“Furthermore, he has been serving an 11-year jail term since December 2003 for a previous rape conviction in Teluk Intan, so I hope the court will consider giving him a lesser sentence,” he said.

JeeZz!! Sentence has been made, but no remorse whatsoever from this dirty former soldier, instead he took another victim for his pleasure..so what's the point in giving him a lesser sentence? Just let him rot in jail! I wasn't as emotional when i saw the title of this news, it was his face that made the outrage came off the closet..Sakit hati aku tengok, mcm seronok je dia..

What in the world is happening to our society??

RANTS RANTS RANTS

Scene 1

Point Blank: Nak beli kereta pun tak guna, i nak sambung study.

Tidak Berakal 1: Alah, beli je lah, nanti bagi la mak ko pakai..

Point Blank: Banyak la, habis tu sapa nak bayar bulan2? U?

Tidak Berakal 1: Apa susah, suruh je mak ko bayar...

Point Blank: Seperti bodoh, U ingat family i cop duit berjuta2?? U takpa la cakap mcm tu, cakap je boleh dapat semua..

Scene 2

Sengal 2: I told you what, the total was RM10,132. You are short of RM300. And also for the Visa RM150 for 3 persons.

Point Blank: No, you never told me the total was RM10, 132. You only said "around2 there lah". and no, you never mentioned to me about the fee for visa..everytime i asked you, u just say, "ya ya, around there lah, the balance is about 7k plus plus" and you never return my calls, u never give me the exact amount, i had to count it myself.

Sengal 2: But i did (trying to defend herself in front of her direct boss)

Point Blank : No u did not, cause otherwise it would be in this book of mine (showing her my executive diary.) I never missed numbers especially when it comes to money. I have it all written down here..haiya..

Sengal 2 : Can i have your passport? original passport?

Point Blank : But you said only to bring the photocopied. Mana ada bawak ini hari. Apa you tak cakap awal2????


Scene 3

Siut 3 : Hai..takde kelas keee ari ni chegu?

(hari sabtu, jam 5.30 petang)

Point Blank : Awat bangang, sapa sekolah hari sabtu kul 530 petang?

Siut 3 : Cikgu Cemerlang. hehehe

Point Blank : Kepala tempurung..


Scene 4

(Di sebatang jalan yang hanya ada one lane and beberapa kereta dari arah bertentangan)

Point Blank : Ampun!! 20 km/j..HELLO? cepat sikit kat depan tu boleh takkkk...

..... 30 km/j

..... 20 km/j

Point Blank : The next time you see me, i'll be in bed with high blood pressure..orang lari pun lagi cepat tau tak!!

Until you come to my hometown, you might not believe orang kat sini drive max 40km/j.. Macam mana laaaaaa i tak sakit jantung, high blood pressure, temperature meter kepanasan pun tau pecah kalau macam ni..

************

This is so not because of my PMS ok..altho it might contribute a bit, still..dont you and wont you feel the same as i did if someone said or do something like this to you?? Some people are just so plain zero. That's all with my rantings.

p/s: Except for SCENE 2, the rest of the replies have been modified here n there to make it sound more dramatic..

Quote of the day

"Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak."