Dad

6.20pm, 27 September 2004.

"I'm so sorry M'am"

Those were THE last word i heard the doctor said to Mom.

and life seemed blur...

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I thod i'd be writing something good and poetic about you Dad. But i just could not get my hands to dance on the keyboard. My mind cant seem to process whatever is in my thoughts. The ideas are running dry...the words wont come out perfectly as i wanted them to be..

Dad, i missed those days when we would go to the fishing pond and eat as much ice cream as we want. It never occur to me, to everyone else that you'd be gone so much sooner that you were suppose to. That, one nite i remember very well, how i slept in front of the TV with you on the couch, not being able to sleep. That cancer was disturbing your sleep..

That, one nite, i remember very well, you did not even recognize yourself. You were too weak losing over 2 pints of blood. I waited no more to book a flight home. Flights were so routine to me it was no longer a pleasure, instead a torture waiting to land and be there for you.

You were a survivor dad. Despite knowing you have less than a year to live, you made full use of it to be with all the people around you. But you know something Dad, it hurts just to think of you. It hurts just to miss you. It hurts just to talk about you. How i missed you so much Dad. So much...Did you know how much it hurts to see you cry in pain? To see you not being able to eat? To see you not being able to hold anything anymore? Did you know that, Dad? It was so unbearable..

Dad, i want you to know, not just for today,that you are someone deeply special in my life, irreplaceable regardless who. No one else, only you.

I love you Dad. Happy Father's Day.